The Bullshit on My Mind Today Or: A Commonplace Blog (If You Know Your Lovecraft)

A bit worn and ragged from stretches and hatha and writing, writing, always writing. Doing all these things until finally my brain went pop. Time to chill. For me, that means about a day. Yesterday, Iforced myself not to write a word and failed. I wrote one sentence anyway. And that's how someone knows they're a writer. Breaks are needed, and sometimes a full stop--when you need that and you can't do it, you'll know the craft is in your deep structures. If that isn't happening to you, maybe do something else. For me, it's always been that way. I filled a hundred notebooks on the street, all but three of which were stolen...strangely. Not sure why. I didn't meet a lot of readers out there. And there wasn't anything in any of them worth stealing, if the ones I have are to be believed. That words in there are shit, maybe good for cut-ups and fleshings into a whole new something, but that's it.

Lovecraft called that commonplace writing. 

I kind of fucked up and sent something improperly formatted like a dumb fuck, then I wrote a bunch of shit that weas just that--shit--so. Break. Oddly, I looked at what I wrote and found shitty and think it might be really good. It goes that way. Oh. And I'm still stoked about getting published recently. 

What else?

I was thinking about all the moderates shifting right in the face of today's new left. It isn't the freedom movement anymore. It's so fucking lunatic that I almost think it's a sham to get all the plebes in line for a One Party System, you know, like the Nazis. The Right's the only way to go. Join the tyrants and the warmongers who would just as soon exterminate everyone who isn't well off, one-percenter, sycophant to the oligarchy, who isn't Christian, who isn't the Right...just wipe 'em out. Ridicule the fuck out of them publicly until the plebes all drool for their blood and then put them on their knees and start pulling triggers. Nope, I can't get with that, no matter how fucking insane the liberals have become. But that's what they're after. Soon enough all the sensible people who were once on the left are going to call for the left's extermination as well. Then all we'll have is the Right and that's not America, that's Nazi Germany.

But I also know a lot of people who would be down as all fucking fuck for something like that. They're not my friends, those who were are gone. But I know them. I'm not with that shit. I don't think they are, not really, but I could never get them to understand that despite efforts. Too comfortable in their skepticism, cynicism, et al.

Having been down and through so much and seen so much of life, albeit dirty, I am still here to tell you that cynicism is for bastards. It's not funny, not anymore. I don't dig it. And that was on my mind, too. I used to be one. I used to be one of the biggest ones. One day I had it pointed out to me just how fucking ugly that goddamn shit is. I saw it, and now I can't unsee it.

Maybe extreme. Maybe spot on. Maybe not. Everyone thinks their own way, and that's fine. My way is to watch out for the Lukewarm. So I'm sticking to my guns. Practicing stoicism. And shit like that.