It's Entirely Possible Too: MAGA

 

First off, this isn’t a retort, it’s an expansion. Everything in here is me disgusted with MAGA. And you should read this first. 

 

Last night, siamese twin and professional author John Bruni wrote a piece based on that joke meme, which I made for him. He loves to say no, see, and for years I’ve been begging the man to write something with me. I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of that, suffice to say I made him the meme after I presented some goofy project idea to him (it wasn’t serious) and he said “No.” Well, he doesn’t know this—he’s about to—every time John says “No” to me, I imagine him making that bunny face…that’s why I made the meme. I was seeing if I could trick him into saying something was entirely possible.

 As you see, it worked famously.

But this isn’t about him. It’s about some of what he jokingly said might be entirely possible—none of which he believes, I’ll make that clear. The main thing being that Donald J Trump might be a swell guy and the true savior of this our great nation (a fair appraised paraphrase). Me, I do not find that entirely possible even as a joke. I find that absolutely impossible because Donald Trump is a professed criminal who says things like, “I could shoot someone in the face in the middle of 5^th Ave. and not get in trouble.” You want THAT guy? Really? A guy who talks like I did when I was selling heroin and meth? Holy fuck. Maybe you want him because you’d like to do that.

I’ll try to help you with that one real quick like--

If you aren’t a sociopath, a gangster, a cop, or a soldier your ass would never have the balls to pull the trigger on a warm body. If you are not part of that quaternion I promise that you may think you would shoot, but you never know a thing like that until happens to you. I say you’d freeze and start huff n puffin because that’s what I’ve seen “hard” folks who claim to want to “take out every last one of em” tend to do when the shot caller sticks a pistol in their hand and says Alright n—a get in the car let’s see what you made of. Face get red and eyes get all big and fuckin PUFF PUFF PUFF but your finger won’t do shit because it won’t listen to what your brain’s telling you to do. Then your legs start shakin’. Watch a mawfk piss hisself. So tired of squares calling for fighting. Dude. C’mon. You watch movies and shit. Just stop. Stay in your goddamn lane. You got to have that instinct instilled in you to go to war on the street or in a foreign land and the only thing that can do that is experience which you ain’t got so just stop. It’s disrespectful to people who’ve actually been there. (By the way, if you actually have those experiences and you try to tell a MAGA about it, they’ll call you all kinds of a scumfuck criminal felon junkie pile of shit. But yet they're calling for blood. Next.)

It’s entirely possible that the MAGAs are going to get a shock if they do start a civil war. People ain’t deer. They shoot back. The street ain’t the bar. Dude fighting you at the bar cares if he goes to jail. He’s thinking about his wife and so are you. Dude on the street don’t got no wife. He been to prison once, twice, three times already and fought cops outside and inside and doesn’t care. Gays, blacks, they have to fight you MAGA type assholes EVERY DAY and have since they were kids. All these groups that have been facing discrimination for years have been fighting every day for all those years, not just sitting around drinking beer TALKING about fighting watching fucking UFC and Star Wars and shit. Just because you watch Rogan and Peterson spit violent snark shit doesn't mean you know how to fight.

 So it’s entirely possible you will lose a civil war. 

It’s entirely possible that Trump is NOT a good dude. Some feel like he’ll make their bills smaller and that the food prices will go down as well as the gas prices and that Putin will just magically stop fighting in the Ukraine. If any of that is true it’s entirely possible its due to Trump being in league with Putin and Wall Street. That’s why Putin would chill. VLADIMIR PUTIN IS NOT AFRAID OF DONALD TRUMP. PUTIN DOESN’T FEAR FUCKING ANYTHING. I'M SO SICK OF THAT LINE OF BULLSHIT. Look at Putin. Look into his eyes. That man fears nothing, least of all some valium turtle from the country with the softest plebeian population on the planet. We know beyond all shadow of a doubt that Trump is in bed with Putin’s oligarchs who fund Putin's side of things, and he could cut a deal with them for a slice of America’s Corporations, and that he would do. Bet. And that brings me to Wall Street, who essentially controls the price of fucking everything as an entity, and why they would chill in a Trump presidency. Notice that when a republican is elected, your prices go down. When a democrat is elected, they go up. It’s just common courtesy on the part of Wall Street—to the GOP. These companies can lower—or raise—the prices whenever they feel like it, and any argument to the contrary is a lookie loo to make sure you keep supporting consumer extortion. It's entirely the fuck possible, innit?

What else? It’s entirely possible that Trump is a rapist because he said he was on Access Hollywood, and everyone had a little giggle. It’s entirely possible that Trump is guilty of 34 felonies because he fucking said when he was running the first time that the system was corrupt and crooked, and he should know because he uses it--only criminals use the things of a criminal. It’s entirely possible that Trump’s “draining the swamp” is just a lookie look for him to get the criminals he likes in and the ones he doesn’t like out. It’s also entirely possible that Trump will ally-oop every fucking thing Biden has done so he can take over the Global Putsch and put his name on it. Trumponomics instead of Bidenomics—but they’re exactly the same. He just wants his fucking name on the shit—ask anyone in Chicago how obsessed that man is with putting his name on huge things. (Stormy Daniels told us why he does that.) I promise Trump doesn’t honestly care if you die, starve, worship Jesus, are gay or not, racist or not, and he isn’t worrtied about the blood of the country or the parasites or the cockroaches or any of that other Valium driven shit he talks, he just wants to make sure that his stamp is on your whole life. He wants that White House until the day he dies at which point it will go to Barron. (Who the fuck names their kid landlord anymore) That is IT! Donald Trump is out for Donald Trump. He is not out for YOU. He said the wokist movement is evil because it wants to cancel freedom. Tell you what you can and can’t say, think, feel, do. But so does Donald Trump want that very same thing for you. Anyone who says he’s going to incite his followers to bloodshed if he doesn’t get elected...you call that freedom? Why don't you send me five bucks under those same auspices? Oh wait, if I say that, I'm a felon, but it's cool for Trump to talk that shit because Fox News said so. If you are raped and get pregnant, you can’t get an abortion due to some existential airy idea of an imaginary friend in the sky who thinks abortion is naughty, and you call that freedom? They believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen, and you call that freedom? They believe if you’re an immigrant, you are vermin and should be treated as such. You call that freedom? Oh, and if you’re default in any debt—marked for execution. I call MAGA the ULTIMATE cancel culture. It’s entirely possible that Donald Trump wants a Unified Reich...and so do YOU. Just bear in mind how well that worked out for Germany. It’s entirely possible that switching up the races you want to kill does not make you less of a Nazi. It’s entirely possible you’ll vote for a felonious rapist under the auspices that the rape is a lie based in political persecution. Because a guy who said he grabs women by the pussy would never ACTUALLY grab a woman by the pussy, that’s entirely possible too, isn’t it? She must have been lying. It’s not entirely possible that she was scared to go after him on account of his power until the people who fucking hate him came to her and said, “We got power. Let’s get him.”

Besides! The rapist is going to save you from stuttering Joe and the Wokety Woke Woker Wokists Wiggity Winker Woke Wokers on the evil leftist evil evil@skidoo.dedede*!  

 It’s entirely possible that’s a load of bullshit. He can't even save his own ass. 

 Oh, and it is entirely possible Trump IS God’s president if you realize that God’s president in Revelation is the Little Horn—ordained to be the snarky, disgusting mouth of a psychotic, childish cunt that sews discord and toil for the real anti-christ to come—yeah, that’s entirely possible. In my view. But we’re not going into that right now because I’ll get some myopic critic Chad Pepe Alex Frog Jones motherfucker accuse me of being all sorts of things which I am not, and I already have three or four books I’m working on, so sorry, don’t have time to write you one. Should have been paying attention the past twenty years, that shit’s on you, and you can patronize (and meme) deez nuts. 

People who say immigration was better in Trump’s era have never been to Houston. You’re only mad because the immigrants are coming to WASP states like Montana and Kansas now. Well, maybe Ron De Shithead shouldn’t have put them on buses and sent them fucking everywhere, you ever think of that? Maybe he started a trend, maybe? That maybe that’s why they’re so fucking spread out when they used to keep around the Southwest and do their business up the Delta? Bits of NY, hm, maybe? Maybe Ronny fucked up? No one ever thought of that?

Fuckin’ Magas Jesus the fucking Christ NEXT—

It’s entirely possible that CEOs deserve billions while their workers deserve fuck all. No. What’s entirely possible is that people are brainwashed to believe there’s happiness in slavery by these multi-trillionaire assholes who spend their tax-free time at the country club smiley gladhanding and sucking strategic dick (in various fashions). They run around doing mergers and acquisitions; essentially what they do is assimilate all the smaller companies in America all while kissing prerequisite amount of strategical ass, and also, they decide exactly who, what, when, and where to outsource compaines, preferably to places where child labor is still cool. What's better than a worker you don't have to pay because they're not old enough to make money? Any junkie gopher could do that job, but yet these CEOs make almost 800x more money than your ass does. If you’re going to cry about how much you get paid, talk to the CEO who makes as much money by himself as all of you make collectively. Seriously. If you work with less than 800 fucking people, that means your CEO makes more money than YOUR WHOLE TEAM. It's entirely possible, right?

 Of course that’s Joe Biden’s fault not theirs NEXT—

And it’s entirely possible that if the insurance you pay for sucks it isn’t the fault of the democrats, it’s the fault of the company who is more worried about its shareholders than it is about your ass (paid claims do not a successful insurance company make—if all they did would pay out they wouldn’t make enough money to keep their business licenses—what you know about that) and the reason they can get away with this while Medicaid is the fucking BOMB (my surgery experience, fuck your propaganda) is because everyone slobbers about how it’s SOCIALISM! If socialism means government oversight of medical insurance in order to keep the insurance working as awesome as fucking Medicaid does, maybe we should have a Canadian style socialism here, and maybe you should agree with that so you’ll stop paying out the ass for shit coverage while the companies fucking laugh at you and do everything they can to make sure you never realize any of this shit and fight back—nah, just hate me because I have coverage, yeah, it’s MY fault, it’s Biden’s fault—it’s not our fuckin’ fault, dummy.

NEXT—

The Libertarians booed Trump like a motherfucker. They do not like Trump AT ALL so this “Wait until the people who just want to be left alone get involved” is not going to work the way you think it is. See, that’s the Libertarians, bud. Those people are more likely to fight a tyrant who takes rights from people than they are to fight with him. That’s why they booed the fuck out of Mr. Dictator On Day One. And then Trump wants to release the Silk Road dope dealer to get the Libertarian vote, but you think he’s Mr. Law and Order? Shit.

OK MAGA, for the purposes of theme I’ll concede that it’s STILL entirely possible that you’re right about everything, that we’re all evil leftist cunts, that Hitler was right he just picked the wrong race to pick on, that the LGBTQ community is coming for your children and throwing babies in wastebaskets (DeSantis, see the Republican Debacle). It’s entirely possible that you’re right.

You better be. Remember what happened to the Nazis. Because mark my words.

If y'all are wrong................................................. 

Just like 1945.

  

 

 

 

*I personally think that aspects of Wokism are fucking up the writing game. Holy shit, do you have any idea how hard it is to write a kick ass straight pulp story without sounding like you’re rehashing old Jason Statham films in this day and age? Fuck. My gangsters can’t talk like gangsters. I, as an ex homeless junkie, can barely get away with writing about what it’s actually like to be homeless because if I say, “Hey, we really are mostly all criminals out there and this is what it looks like and why” I’m being discriminatory. That’s gutless bullshit. I’m glad I’ve met some editors finally who aren’t that damn strict with it. And Close to the Bone was cool with it. So that’s 3 out of 50 in a year. Not a big number, and not fair to me when the race and sex issue voices (BIPOC, LGBTQ) can say whatever the flying fuck they want and get published like a mawfk. That’s bullshit. That’s discrimination, too. Either that or I just suck...

 

Which is entirely possible too.