Active Imagination: Automatic Writing Session

Not my art, but cool and fitting. 

Note: This was written a couple of days ago, and since then I've begun another piece of the process, this one having to do with archetypal lover energy and how it relates to the King energy in my psyche. I'll go into it another time. Point is, this beginning part with the 4 archetypes is a little misleading. I DON'T have all the mess in the Lover energy hashed out. However, I have caught the little bastard, and that's where it begins. Watch out for the Lover Within. That motherfucker is beyond slippy.

I’ve told people I fixed myself. What I fixed was my narcissistic self, not the whole self. One does not simple fix the whole self like that. In the disordered person what is narcissistic must go first. Now, I believe I’ve gotten a great deal of that out, or I’d never be able to work with people. There’s a bit of it in how vocal I can be regarding certain happenings, but that’s how I have, historically (or histrionically, yikes) reacted to passive aggressive bullshit. Sorry. That stuff, or at least the part of it I’m about to describe, is bullshit du jour. Passive aggressive to me is like a person wants to fight or yell at another person but hasn’t got the moxie to do it, therefore they say roundabout snark shit behind the other person’s back or the like in order to attention/justification from others, so they don’t have to feel like they fucked up anywhere.

(Ventilation: If my feeling all that is still considered narcissistic and sick, well, maybe I need fuckin’ Peachford again. It’s whatever, I don’t dictate what others feel. Even when I don’t like it or agree, I do try to have empathy. Being aggravated is not being a dictator. Having boundaries is not being a cop. If only most people felt the same. I’ll tell you what though, and especially these days (going for ALL HUMANS PERIOD), they sure do love their fucking boundaries; you try to lay a few down and watch what happens. Do yourself a favor. Never catch feelings. Doing that is pretty much just begging for destruction--in this day and age, anyone who isn't married just wants to fuck, no one is interested in a loyal relationship...you can't even call a girl sweetie anymore without her thinking you're either a rapist or a pussy, so condition yourself against romantic love. Everyone thinks loyal love is lame. Go Tinder!)

Now on the automatic writing session I promised. The first consideration is a touch of history.

It started with the Jungian Archetypal. We have King, Lover, Warrior, Magus, this is per Dr. Robert Moore. Jung called them other things. Like The Wise Old Man. That’s the magus. So. The question was to find how these four energies were working in my life to spin me around in circles. If you let these things fly too much, you have a narcissist. Something Aion ugly (YE GODS MAN) and it must be slain. This is a dragon. In my case step one was slaying the drug yen. When that was over, I had to move on to Lust of Result, because it is that shit at root that makes a narcissist. I spent about a year thinking of what that phrase meant and then doing my best to live it. If I thought I wasn’t ready to handle a thing, I didn’t fuck with it. I used the occult—kundalini yoga, mainly, to fix the subconscious. And to connect to the fucking Unified Field no one goddamn believes in even though their own magnetic field is an extension of it. It’s going through this sort of active imagination process, catching these four knowitalls, and trying to lump them into one quintessential ball that is the process of individuation.

(The fix is not yet in. Working on it.)

But uh oh, since we have really ugly Freudian shit going on, we’re far from done. Thought you were, aw. Sorry bubba. Whoops. I assume that this Freudian bullshit is a gift from the 4 Narcissists who infected my psychic triumvirate. Ego, Super, Id. How do they work?

To find that out, one must perform automatic writing. Why?

Fuck why. Let's dig.

Subject, self. Addressing the Magus in the Sub-Psyche. Music to inspire theta waves is on.

How does all this psychic mess work, you who are much larger than me and know more?

There’s no time to tell you all of it. What is necessary to know is: Ego is the director. Persona is the actor. The actor is who the world sees. Id is the horse. And the Superego holds the extension of the persona, the variants, facets if you will, which in the ordered person only work like chameleon skin as needed and without conscious direction. It is not pronounced in the ordered person.

And what about the disordered?

It becomes pronounced and thus Satanic. The Superego stands behind the director as a sort of board of asshole producers twacked out speedballs. Anytime the director tries to do something, the Board contradicts it—doesn’t matter what it is. This is what’s hardest to wrap the brain around. It really does NOT matter what the cause is. This is just what happens when the Superego is broken and that is the entire matter.

Matter being what you fuck with that fucks back.

That’s not a bad way to put it.

What broke it?

Too much bullshit happening and you being too sensitive about it. Your answer to your own sensitivity was to fight everyone and everything around you in order to prove to yourself that you weren’t weak.

You make me sound like an incel.

No. Incels are all that plus actually weak, and this makes them spiteful. You were never actually weak. You just thought you were. Then you started doing drugs. Other men like you met you and let you into their fold and then you wound up where you are now through diverse means. Truth is if you were an actual incel you’d have never had friends like that. You never stood at the gate sniffing panties. They do things like that. No. You broke things. You broke life. You—

Fucked up amazingly.

That’s not a bad way to put it. You remember that movie Poltergeist? You only moved the headstones, dummy. You got to dig up and dissolve the bog bodies. You did enough to get yourself kickstarted. Where you fucked up was forgetting to move the bodies, not just the headstones. Fucked up, bud.

And everyone should stay away from a fuck up.

Shut up. Knock that off. That is self-pitying bullshit. That is a doubter/crybaby persona in the superego. It is not you. Rarely do you show that sort of malaise. It’s unbecoming. Dissolve it.

Dissolve it?

Through mediation. You’re right to believe that this process plus yoga is the right way to catch them. But this idea you have of wrapping them into a ball you can then control with some sort of archetypal gatekeeper is fucking preposterous, bud. Dissolve them. O ye of noble family.

You’re talking Tibetan now.

I am. And also of your new mediations. Keep them up. Get those bastards off you. Then you might have a life. What is in within you may also be coming from without, do you understand?

Black magic?

Could be. Could also just be someone out there obsessing over what a pile of dog shit they think you are. Putting off rubedo they don't even know they have. In gossip sessions telling their friends you're...well, you fill in the blank. Too much of that becomes egregore. It comes to hurt you. But you have Minor Adeptus Capabilities now--develop these, move into the fifth sphere. 

Yes. I appreciate you coming to me.

Are you well now?

I will be.

You work well. People care most about that. Ask anyone. That’s the main thing. No one wants to hold anyone’s fucking hand. You know that. Work your ass off. You have been. Keep on! What easier thing could there be? I’m literally asking you to do what you’ve been doing save for now concentrating on the removal of a few archetypal tulpas. Not so hard. What a deal!

You’re saying don’t let the false boogeymen upstairs say boo to the people. Entrench on the days when they’re vile.

Now you’re catching on! But no that isn’t everything. It is one snowflake. This is going to take a while. Be vigilant.

And that, friends, is a look at actual Jungian Active Imagination.

See you next time.